What is counselling?

The basics of therapy, from how it works to how to choose a therapist.

What is counselling?

If you’ve never had counselling before, it can be a daunting prospect. Much of what we think we know about therapy, before we experience it for ourselves, comes from what we see on TV or online. Some of those depictions are often … well…. less than accurate.  

Alternatively, you might know someone who’s had therapy and although what they tell you is likely to be more realistic, your experience will still be very different. This is because you and your therapist are unique individuals who will work in a ‘therapeutic alliance’  to support your healing and growth.

The following explanation of counselling is, therefore, a generalised overview.  

How counselling works

Counselling is a professional relationship between two people (client and therapist/counsellor) that helps the client explore their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours in order to improve their emotional, psychological (and sometimes physical) health and wellbeing.

The counsellor ensures a safe and confidential* environment where their client can openly discuss their concerns, issues and challenges. The therapist will listen, ask questions, and help them to explore solutions that work for them and that they are uncomfortable with. They won’t provide direct advice or give instructions (although some may encourage their clients to do tasks outside of the session) but instead use their expertise to offer support and guidance to help the client find their own solutions and achieve the therapeutic goals they set at the beginning of the process.

To give you an idea of how this works in practice: a therapist might notice a particular word or phrase the client uses repeatedly - for example ‘I’m stupid’’ - and, in drawing it this to the client’s attention begins a process of exploration about its meaning or significance to the client. Perhaps it was a belief they developed in childhood or was sparked by a specific event, but the client continues to carry it with them, contributing to their unhappiness in the present.

How long does counselling last?

Each individual counselling session will usually last around 50 mins to an hour and is usually agreed on a weekly or sometimes bi-weekly basis. The duration of therapeutic process – the period between the first and last sessions - varies depending on your individual needs and goals. Some people benefit from just a few sessions, while others might engage in longer-term therapy over months and even years.

Having discovered the benefits of therapy, clients often return to it (although not necessarily with the same counsellor) many times during their life.

Where can I have counselling?

During covid the profession became much more adept at offering counselling online and by phone and this has the benefit of offering greater logistical flexibility for both client and therapist. Many, however, still prefer to be in-person with their counsellor. 

How do I choose a counsellor?

Different counsellors offer different areas of expertise and these are referred to as theories, approaches or modalities – cognitive behavioural therapy or person-centred therapy for example. In simple terms, they are conceptual frameworks (most underpinned by academic research) that inform how they might work with their clients.

Some approaches are thought to be more relevant for specific issues (like Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing ‘EMDR’ for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ‘PTSD’) but many therapists combine a range of modalities in pluralistic or integrative practice.

In the UK there are a number of professional bodies including the BACP, the UKCP, COSCA and the NCPS who can help you find a professionally trained and qualified therapist that meets your needs. See also the Counselling Directory and Welldoing.org who are subscription based hubs where counsellors from across several professional bodies list their experience and credentials.

In summary

• How you experience counselling will be unique to you.

• A counsellor is a professional trained to support and challenge not provide advice.

• Counselling is a process which can be challenging but ultimately seeks to relieve distress, promote self-awareness and provide balance – both emotional and psychological.

• The more you engage with the process, the greater the healing and growth will be – long after your therapy has ended.

If you have a specific question or want more details, or think you might benefit from counselling, give me a call on 07923 498397 or email me at hello@therapywithfi.com 

*there are usually some exceptions to this (designed to protect the client, counsellor and some third parties as well as comply with legal obligations) and the counsellor should explain these to you in your first session.